I realized early on that consistency is an invaluable tool in parenting. When there is consistency, there are expectations for both the child and parent to meet-and the structure is reassuring for all involved.
While my stepson has been under our roof this summer, we have set a bedtime for 11 pm. Granted this didn't always work while we were on vacation-but when we are at home we can schedule a little bit easier and institute the 11 pm bedtime. The first two or three nights we faced some argument, a little talk back about how it's his summer vacation and he can do whatever he wants. But now when we state "bedtime", he simply makes a slight grumbling noise and off he goes. While this has been consistent-and no longer an issue seen for debate in the teenage mind, reading before bed is still a consistency issue.
My stepson used to love to read, but now with adolescence and growing access to technologies that can move much faster (or be changed in a click), books have a difficult time holding his attention. We always used to have a before bed reading time of half an hour. As of late, if he hasn't read yet that day, we ask him to get ready for bed at 10:30 and lights out at 11. Not only is he keeping up with schoolwork that will probably never be checked, (he's supposed to read five recommended books over the summer) but the half hour also provides a great wind-down time for a young man whose mind and therefore body dart in every direction possible with every new thought. (Yes, he is a bit clumsy.)
Here's where the consistency problem is-the arguments and talk backs about starting to read at 10:30 and lights out at 11 persisted past a few nights. Finally, my stepson proposed the solution, if he hadn't read yet during the day, he would read at 10:30, if he had read, he could stay up with us until 11. In this instance compromise instead of consistency created the expectation at our house. And with those expectations, come a happy, peaceful household.
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