Persistence and Basketball Camp

My stepson just returned from a three day basketball camp. Granted, it was from 9 to 5, but he was able to come home with the husband and me in the evenings and be sent off the next morning with a snack and lunch from home. So he didn't even have to have "camp food".

Anyway, we enrolled him in basketball camp after he took such a liking to the sport-but didn't make the team last year. The camp focused on better ball handling and shooting skills. After Day One he came to the Jeep, stiff-legged and complaining. There weren't any cool kids, they worked him too hard, could he please not go to the next two days of camp.

We told him that Day Two would be better and his muscles would be more used to it-in fact they would stiffen up too much if he didn't try it again. So we ushered him out the door for Day Two with a lot of grumbling... but he was smiling when we picked him up from camp that day. He admitted to learning new skills, getting better at the stuff he had known, and his muscles didn't hurt too badly-but he couldn't wait to take off his basketball shoes.

Day Three didn't take any persuasion on our part to usher the little man off to camp-although he did know he was getting picked up at 3 o'clock instead of 5, but he came home, showed off some of the new moves he's learned and will continue to practice; and hopefully will take on basketball tryouts with a new confidence and make the team.

Thanks Advantage Basketball Camps!

Why it's Unreasonable to Say "No" to a Reasonable Query

Let's face it, "No" works about as long as your child allows it. Then come the "reasoning" years, (though, depending on the mood of the child the "reasoning" may be argumentative, talking back, etc). The reasoning years don't take "No" as an acceptable answer to a reasonable query. So what is an unreasonable query?

Lately my stepson has been studying vehicles as we pass and wondering which one might be his in three years. Three years. Anyway, when we pass by a corvette, "Can you get me that fast car?" "No," is an appropriate response, and not one they intend to argue with. "Can I get a motorcycle?" requires a little more than a "No," something to the effect of: "Not while you're on my insurance policy," usually gets the message across. Unreasonable queries can actually handle a humorous, sarcastic response, depending on the sensitivity level of the child.

So what about reasonable queries? Why is "No" not an appropriate response? Reasonable queries are often something the child has received before, a privilege you might say. If you say "No" it's guaranteed that the child will believe this is up for debate. The answer can never be just "No."

An example of a reasonable query came from my stepson a few days ago, "Can I play some video games?" It was in the morning, and there were expectations (see previous post) of him that still needed to be accomplished that morning as they do every morning. So instead of "No" the response to his reasonable query was, "First you need to make your bed, pick up your clothes off the floor and place them in the hamper, wash the breakfast dishes, and practice your bass."

He smiled, took care of the listed items, (teenagers work best with lists, otherwise they forget what they're supposed to do and get in trouble) and in a little over an hour, he was playing video games.